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College Loses Bid for University Status

The Office of the Secretary for Higher Education reviewed and rejected a bid by a national college organization to become a university. The bid is controversial since the Secretary’s office said they never even looked into the educational credentials of the college it was reviewing.

“They’re just stupid,” said Melanie Feelings, a spokesperson for the office. “No one likes the college! It’s just a bunch of meanies being old fashioned!”16655857630_0b0c2c24f5_b

Tom Sharp, speaking on behalf of the Electoral College, said he was shocked by the way they were treated. “They told us we had no respect for mob rule and things that are trendy,” Sharp reported. “They told us we should be more open to pan flashes like Donald Trump, or popular criminals like Hillary Clinton.”

The Higher Education Secretary himself, Mr. Schlomo Selfie, released a statement today, excoriating the college. “This organization exists to keep alive the stupid notion that being a citizen of town or a state should actually mean something,” Selfie shouted.  “I suppose next they’ll be supporting the need for states to ratify amendments to the constitution! Everyone knows that Congress and the President should be able to do anything they want. I mean, the nerve!”


Mr. Sharp is not ready to throw in the towel. “We think we’ll apply at a Western red state. They understand the significance of the Electoral College. They know it is the key to small or sparsely populated states maintaining a say in the makeup and direction of the federal government,” Sharp told Street Politics.

But seriously folks, with each presidential election it becomes increasingly popular, especially among the losing party, to decry our electoral system of government. This shows a lack of understanding of the protections built into our federal election laws or a willful desire to centralize power in heavily populated areas, in an effort to create a truly Orwellian society.


It is unnerving how popular, and effective, being a public crybaby has become.   In the same election the voters elected one and tossed another aside.
B&W photo amseaman Flickr via Compfight cc
Color  Harald Groven Flickr via Compfight cc

Matt Jordan is a travel writer, host of and author of 16 20 24: A Path to Consistent Conservative Victory,  on Kindle as: Street Politics: It Ain’t Your Daddy’s GOP Anymore!

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