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Don’t Be A Political Pansy…on Election Day.

The tag line I use to promote my book is “Don’t be a Political Pansy!” That is tongue-in-cheek advertising, and as much a joke as it is a challenge. But there really is a breed of political pansy out there.

I normally serve up red meat on this site. There is so much we can devour! And I am serving up plenty of it elsewhere. But right now I am talking to EVERYONE. I may be preaching to the choir though. It is likely that the people this is directed at won’t see it because, well…they are the people it is directed at, political pansies.

Who are these pansies? These are the people on both side of the political spectrum who harp endlessly on how screwed up everything is. They call names on Facebook and sit in the break room at work looking down their noses at politicians and the people that vote for them. But in reality they are too lazy and insincere to actually go out and make their own noise in a way that is constructive.

 These pansies have a laundry list of reasons to not fulfill their civic duty and vote. But my favorite is, “Why bother? It never changes. They’re all the same.”

These pansies already know the answer to their own question. Things remain as they are because too many people say, “Why bother? It never changes.” By being that guy, you hand the worst of our politicians the advantage of incumbency and the comfort of knowing that not enough of the electorate is awake enough to impact their political ambitions.

You have to trust me on this: If the political class woke up on Wednesday morning to find out 90% of the population voted (the results would be wildly out of sinc with what the talking heads are saying now) they would piss their pants! And rightly so. It would mean that they would have to start performing. They would have to shitcan their poll tested garbage and really try to make a difference. They would realize that all the special interest cronyism won’t protect them from US!

And damn! Look how easy they have made voting! You can vote online, vote mail-in (used to be called absentee, and you can vote early. I have made my concrete concerns for these stupid ideas known in my book and here.

Despite those misgivings, how much easier do you need it to be before you participate and drop the phony self-importance about how the man will keep you down no matter what crap?

HOW IT OUGHT TO BE

I was talking to my buddy Bob D. on Facebook the other day. We were in disagreement about a particular get-out-the-vote campaign. But on one point, I don’t believe there was a spark of light between us.

I said that Election Day should be a bank holiday. Forget early voting or online or mail-in garbage. Only real cases should vote absentee. On election day, we should all gather and celebrate the day and the franchise, win or lose. Voting is at least as important as the Fourth of July! It’s way more important than Labor Day. There should be Election Day parties. No one allowed in without an updated “I voted” sticker. These parties should not be mandated by law, of course, but it would be an original party theme. On this day, even as the returns are still being counted, we are all one again. We all did our civic thing and now we are enjoying just being Americans.

Tomorrow, it all starts again. But today, no rancor or discord would be of any use to anyone. Pass the beer and the brats! 

But what am I saying? [snide whiney voice] No one would ever do that. It’ll never change. Right?

To this I would respond with a slightly non-contextual quote from Ken Olsen, founder of Digital Equipment Corporation in 1977: There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.” At the time, that was the prevailing wisdom.  It would last less than 5 years.  Of course we would need a center of influence bigger than my brilliant self to make Election Day a holiday.

And what the hell, it would give Hallmark a reason to jack us up for a whole new set of greeting cards.

 

Don’t be a political pansy! Read Street Politics: It Ain’t Your Daddy’s GOP Anymore! Grab your copy here.
Let’s demand good governance!

Kindle version here!

Or just start reading for free on Kindle Unlimited!

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Smirky Head Shakers

Those TV and Movie moments that make normal people smirk and shake their heads.

 Zips?  Really?

I imagine, if anyone was paying attention to Media Buzz on Sunday, 6 August, that FOX News got some pretty fiery emails.  We’re not talking about a super high-rated news show here.  I imagine only news and political geeks like myself actually sit through it.  But yeah, there was definitely a head shaker.

The guest at that time was Katrina Pierson, Trump hyper-apologist.  Howie Kurtz asked her about the fuss over leaks and the AG’s announcement that Justice was going to turn up the heat on leakers.

She spoke of the Obama hold-overs being the likely source of the leaking.  I would say that’s probably true.  The DC government is shot through with self-absorbed drama queens looking to get their 15 minutes.  Or they are leaking to key political people so they can feel like power players.

But in describing these pansies as an internal threat, she called them “zips in the wire”.

This is the problem when airheads hear words of movie dialog and think, “Hmmm, zips in the wire.  That’s sounds like a cool phrase.  I’ll sound cool saying it.”  The problem being that this particular airhead didn’t know what it meant.

“Zips” or zipperheads” is a derogatory term for Asians.  More specifically, in the context where it gained fashion, it refers to Vietnamese.  Ms. Pierson might have just as well said “gooks”.

If FOX didn’t get overrun with emails that is because the term has been completely lost to time or people aren’t as tuned in to offenses toward Asians as they are offenses against other races.

Personally, I don’t care.  I think we are ALL too thin-skinned anyway.  We could use some toughening up. The vast majority of our “adult” population has forgotten the adage “Sticks and stones will break my bones, etc.” 

Put more accurately, we have a population shot through with people just dying to feign offense and play the victim.  “Look at me!  Look at me!  I’m a delicate little girl!”

Anyway, I thought it was a funny moment.  And if Howie knew what the phrase meant, you’d never know it.  He didn’t bat an eyelash.

The “duh” moment is at 5:10 of this video.

Don’t be a political pansy! Read Street Politics: It Ain’t Your Daddy’s GOP Anymore! Grab your copy here.
Let’s demand good governance!

Kindle version here!

Or just start reading for free on Kindle Unlimited!

 

 

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Binge-Watching Sports

Well, my favorite time of year for binge-watching sports is at an end.

The Tour

Chris Froome (Richie Cunningham’s doppleganger) is, once again, the winner of the Tour De France. I was disappointed his teammate Landa didn’t try to overcome the 1 second gap that kept him off the podium.

The 21-stage event had the usual NASCAR-worthy crashes. The worst of which was the Martin/Plante wreck that left Plante with a concussion. It could have been so much worse. In fact if Plante has decided to fight the lateral path of his bike, he’d have ended up going over the side of a very steep drop. But eventually the trees would have stopped his fall. Eventually.

It is worth mentioning the Martin returned to the race to finish ahead of the bulk of the peloton. He would be competitive throughout the three weeks.

The ejection of Sagan was an absolute outrage especially considering Nacer Bouhanni’s behavior. In Sagan’s case, he was already close to a wall and Mark Cavendish tried to pass him inside. At one point it looks like Cavendish even leans into him. It is impossible to tell if Sagan was trying to make contact or just keep his bike upright when Cavendish hits the ground.

Bouhanni’s sorry behavior is clearly intentional and brazenly on display. Sagan was a favorite this year. He would have contributed to a great event. Most cycling fans couldn’t care less if Bouhanni falls into a sing hole. He should have gotten his walking papers days ago.

And Marcel Kittel was amazing. He took 5 of the first 11 stages, only to crash out of the race a few days ago. I hope he comes back strong next year. He gained a lot of respect, especially that last day trying to ride injured.

Wimbledon

Wimbledon ended last week. Garbiñe Muguruza (cool name) took the Women’s Trophy over Venus Williams (sister to the woman who broke my heart). Venus didn’t come into the final match looking as wound up and confident as she had earlier in the tournament.

For the men, it was Roger Federer who beat Marin Cillic to walk away with the cup. He was, in a word, remarkable. He scored the title having not dropped a set throughout the event. He is far older than any of the players he defeated. (One commentator noted that all the young players were struggling with the heat and injuries, etc. And there’s Federer, almost 36 and fresh as a daisy.)

It was his eighth win at Wimbledon and a record. He looks as though he may have one more in him. We’ll see.

The big story at center court remains Andy Murray. He played well through most of the rounds. And he’s still ranked #1. I had no idea until the second round that he is just coming off hip surgery.

I always thought he had an odd gait. It turns out that he has a limp. When he walks, his left hip remains straight but his right hip rotates back with his leg. The number one tennis player in the world is beating everyone despite a limp. And the limp is not on display when he charges the net or bounds across the court to recover a blooper and stick it up his opponent’s ass. Expect more greatness from Federer and Murray.

The Open Championship

I thought this was scheduled the previous week, but that was the Scottish Open. I did watch that one too.

If you are a golf fan, you didn’t want to miss the Open. It had a little of everything including about 25 minutes of WHAT-THE-HELL-IS-HE-DOING, as Jordan Spieth ran around the practice range looking for a place to drop his ball. More on that in a bit.

But it was Spieth’s weekend, wire-to-wire! The kid who exploded onto the scene two years ago (he was actually amazing to watch as a junior amateur) came back with a fury at Royal Birkdale.

I have to admit, I was pulling for Matt Kuchar all the way to the 16th green in the final round. Kuch is a class act. And he is one of the leaderboard regulars never to have won a major. It sure would have been nice to see him pick up the Claret Jug. But it was not to be. He held neck and neck with Spieth for three days. Not a power hitter, he just plodded along, making the magic he could. He was steady Eddy.

But on the back nine, Spieth showed why he is one of the greatest 23-yr-olds ever to play the game. His clutch putting was mind-blowing.

From the 13th tee, Jordan landed in the rough on the back of a steep hill. Somehow he got the judge to call it unplayable. Spieth, talking a mile a minute, discussing options for a drop, walked all over the practice range and a crowded lot where communications vans were parked. Look at the hill, walk and talk. Look at the hill, walk and talk.

 

Continued below:


I know what you are thinking: How could a good-looking man, who isn’t of retirement age, be watching Wimbledon and the Tour De France AND the Open?  That’s right.  I watched every morning.  Well, listen up, buttercup! By next year you could BE at Wimbledon, center court! Or you could watch the peloton zip by from the courtyard of a French Bed and Breakfast. All you need to do is pay attention!
 

 


In the end, he dropped his ball about 230 yards out, took his caddie’s advice and pulled out the three iron.  He put a blind shot next to the green. Up and down for a bogie. This episode held up play for 25 minutes.

He fell behind Kuchar by a stroke, but that didn’t last. His short work for the rest of the game, especially his putting was flawless, while Kuchar “yipped” a few. Spieth went on to win at 12 under to Kuch’s 9 under.

It was a great weekend of golf.  And keep your eye on a Canadian beansprout named Austin Connelly. He’s got real potential.

I’ll put up the best content and images I can find on all this. Keep an eye out for it.

This is a great time of year for binge-watching sports.  Alas, it is over.  I guess I’ll have time to move my office back to the beach on the Gulf:

It’s a tough life, but somebody’s got to live it.

Matt Jordan is the author of Street Politics: It Ain’t Your Daddy’s GOP Anymore! Unlike Russell, I will not give this to you for free. But you can get it here NOW!

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Photo Credit: digitizedchaos Flickr via Compfight cc