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The Emperor Has No Vocabulary!

My earliest mentions of Trump, going back to the first few days of his campaign – you can find it all on this site – spoke to his utter incompetence as a communicator. I was, and I am still shocked at the seemingly intelligent people who say that while the Donald is not a good speaker, he is just¬† “telling it like it is.”

WTF? Trump hasn’t told us anything since he kicked off his campaign other than how ignorant he is of the real world. That would be the world outside real estate investing.

As I have said repeatedly here, it is Trump’s followers who constantly try to translate his gibberish into intelligent English. Usually these translations have absolutely nothing to do with a word the candidate has actually said himself. And there is no reasoning with the Trump cult.

It is interesting to note that the media is finally taking Trump to task for his nonsensical and self-contradictory speech.

But perhaps a bit of accurate satire could do the trick. The problem with satire and political cartoons over the past several years is that they rarely hit home as good satire should.

Firstly, good satire, real satire, is based on a nugget of truth. You take a true statement and then register your approval or disapproval in a comedic or hard-hitting way. You rarely see that in modern satire. I’ll give you an example.

One of the most popular images employed against the GOP is the elephant; fat, evil-eyed, surrounded by, or in some way catering to, bankers and Wall Street types. The images are often creative and funny, but don’t rise to the level of actual satire because they are not true when talking about rank and file republican politicians. And when you are trying to direct that fire on the Four Morons[1. You can search that term on this site.] and their cadre (friends of the Chamber of Commerce), you are portraying a group that is nowhere near as adept at sucking up corrupt dollars as their Democratic counterparts. Big money interest in politics is what feeds the crony capitalist system. And the GOP is simply not good at it.

But every so often you come across satire that is right on target. In this case the satirist uses the candidate’s undeniably silly words against him. And the statements on display here are vintage Trump. It captures the very nature of his entire persona, the essence of his communication skills. I am not kidding…let me tell you…believe me.

This is funny and accurate.

Trump’s most lucid moment to date was his recent appearance at American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC). Speaking from a teleprompter (I am not knocking this like some in the press are) he still managed to sound like a second rate thinker. His speech writer(s) created a piece that they felt Trump could pull off by throwing up a standard, 30 year-old, laundry list of pro-Israeli junk all candidates in every party say at such events. In evidence, Trump offered “Let me tell you…” and “believe me” (the latter nine times before I stopped counting) along with several minutes dedicated to his heading up an Israeli Day parade.[2. No one realized his statement that many others had turned the honor down before he was even asked was not evidence of anything other than a group was desperately seeking a celebrity and had to settle for Trump.] The entire presentation was devoid of substantive, actionable pronouncements.

Contrast his AIPAC speech to those of Cruz and Kasich. (For the record, I like Kasich and he will never be president. I personally dislike Cruz and voted for him.) Theirs were cogent, concise and gave examples to convey not only where they stand, but their understanding of Israel and its challenges. They left no doubt about their intentions and abilities to carry them out.

While it is certainly within the realm of reason to disagree with anything either of them said, to put Trump’s empty can of stuff on the same plain as either of the others is to take flight from reality.

There seems to be quite a few people taking that trip lately. Is it simple, intellectual laziness?

Matt Jordan is a travel writer, political commentator and author of 16 20 24. Get your SIGNED copy here!

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Any Adults Out There?

We’ve watched more then once as the GOP has pissed away elections they should have won in a walk. But this time, they have really screwed the pooch. It all could have been avoided if the candidates themselves understood the basic realities pointed out in my book. Having failed to do so (Trump follows only chapters one and two then proceeds to destroy himself from there), they have put the party on a collision course with disaster. And the party hacks are accelerating the process.

A bit of petulance is common in every election season. “If my guy isn’t elected, I’m not going to vote in November.” Translation: “I’m a worthless crybaby who doesn’t really understand the political process.”

But I never thought I’d see the day where the sissy boys and cranky girls dominated the conversation. Especially in the GOP! I certainly never considered for a moment the biggest cry baby and sissy bait would hold the lead in the nominating process this late in the game.

We’re still months from the convention, but there stands Donald Trump, crying that if he holds the lead come convention time, but doesn’t have the requisite votes to carry the nomination, rules should be set aside just for him. He should be handed the nomination anyway. He has even telegraphed to his drones what they should do if he is forced to endure rules like everyone else. “Very bad things will happen” and “riots in the streets” are his way of directing the actions of his cult and threatening fellow Americans. It’s like whining to the AAU, “Aww, c’mon! I got within two tenths of a second to the world record. Just give it to me. If not my team mates just might beat up the time keeper. I’m just sayin’.” So damned childish!

The only correct statement a responsible adult should make to the question – what will happen in the event of a contested convention? – can certainly note peoples frustration, but should also include a strong and clear admonishment against violence or destructive behavior. This, especially after Chicago.

But that’s not what Donald wants. He wishes to incite violence. Later he’ll say. “I didn’t want this. But look how I am treated. It’s so UNFAIR.” His cult drones, and the media talking heads who want to rip him apart in a general election, make excuses for Trump. But his earlier remarks to already excited crowds, (“I’d like to punch that guy in the face” and “Knock the hell out of them, seriously – knock the hell – I’ll pay the damages”) were intended to incite violence. Period. Why? Because Trump thinks he’s special. He really believes he is personally important enough that you should hurt another human being to advance his campaign. And he is adolescent enough to say so.

In a blizzard of blindingly ignorant remarks he’s made since he announced his candidacy, these incitements are the worst. They are lowest, most despicable I’ve ever heard directed to supporters by a presidential candidate. It should earn him our ridicule and scorn, not excuses and votes.

Let me put it another way. If Hillary Clinton said that if the GOP did xyz, “cars would burn, people might get hurt,” the very same Trump goobers would be screaming, veins protruding from their foreheads, what a horrible person she is. But I know most of the people I speak of right now are cementing further in their own minds that Donald Trump is their lord and savior, and anyone who says otherwise is a hater.

There is a special place for people like this on the college campi across the country where students are demanding safe spaces, gender neutral locker rooms, dorms just for gay people, a vote on tenure, formal, mandatory seminars to make whites aware of their “white privilege”, the hiring of coaches based on race (not talent), e-i-e-i-o. The list goes on and on at Of course, none of this has anything to do with the quality of the education these precious snowflakes aren’t pursuing.

The Donald supporters carry the very same type of message. I don’t care about the rules. I want to be treated better than the adults because I am special and my favorite candidate thinks following rules is, “so unfair”.

The author is blowing raspberries!

HOWEVER, if the GOP is stupid enough to change the rules before the convention, say increasing the number votes needed to carry the nomination uncontested or bring in a ringer prematurely, I will stand right next to the most rabid Duck Dynasty fans and scream right along with them. Then results WILL be the GOP’s fault.

Everybody needs to grow the hell up. The candidates need to follow the rules that were in effect the day they threw their hats in the ring. The GOP needs to let the process play out, and voters need (if they wish to avoid a Clinton presidency) to respect the existing process. And if he is honest, and the rules are followed, Trump must do two things. First, he must come out forcefully against any moronic or violent behavior by his fans and then in keeping with his word, stand by the ultimate nominee (which still may be him). Anything other will prove beyond a doubt that he really is just a shill for the Clintons and has been all along.

So GOP, butt the hell out! Quit trying to hatch pathetic schemes to derail candidates. If you favor a candidate (one that’s on the stump right now!), make your case and win by the weight of your argument. Or just be quiet. Donald; you claim to be the greatest deal maker in history. Okay, so fight for your 1237 delegates. If you don’t have them by the time the convention rolls around, use that brilliant deal making skill at the convention and get the nomination anyway. I mean, you constantly say the you make great deals, right? This should be a walk in the park.

Matt Jordan is a travel writer, political commentator and author of 16 20 24. Get your SIGNED copy here!

Find 16 20 24 on Amazon.

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Love Letter to Trump Supporters

I am going to ask Trump fans to park their credulity for just a few minutes and read this piece with an honest and open mind.

I have said many times here that no one has been harder on Trump than I am. I also said, until a month ago, that no one wanted him to be the real thing as much as I do. I kept hoping for the moment when he would suddenly start communicating a real message in a grownup fashion.

Yes, I know what you may be thinking. I don’t understand, right? He just tells it like it is. He speaks the truth. He has promised to deal with all the corruption and waste in Washington. People don’t like him because he is not politically correct.

The fact is, he has said of none of these things. He has not stated clearly one point or one plan. He hasn’t spoken truth. YOU HAVE. I am always surprised by the “explanations” Trump followers give for the nonsensical remarks Trump makes. His answers to every question trail off in a parenthetical breeze having addressed absolutely nothing. Then his supporters, you, hit the social media sites and provide your own answers, usually very good ones, that have absolutely nothing to do with anything the Donald has ever said.

The puzzling thing is you are politically aware, most of you. You do understand what this country needs. And yet you have thrown your lot in with a guy who has demonstrated time and again that he is far less qualified to be president than you are.

As for political incorrectness, it would be one thing if Trump delivered even one answer with a sound argument and coherent structure. If he did so in a way that was intentionally confrontational, ignoring the whiners on both sides of the political aisle; if he didn’t pander to the racial, sexual, income and religious dividers of the world, that would be politically incorrect. I’d happily applaud it. But ignorance and immaturity are not examples of political incorrectness. They are simply ignorance and immaturity.

Let’s take a moment to break down a typical Donald answer to a question. This one is a classic.

How can anyone, honestly and objectively see that piece and say to themselves, “This guy has what it takes to be anything other than a Real Estate huckster.”

Then there is the icky Mussolini factor. It is one thing to say that his facial expressions and mannerisms resemble Il Duce. I don’t care about that. It is kind of funny. But his petulance and animosity toward the media have gone beyond anything we’ve ever seen in a serious candidate for political office…except for Il Duce.

His complaint? “They are so mean to me!” “I don’t know why they hate me.” “They are very unfair!” “I’m going to take them to court.” and he names names! In which free, representative republic are we to feel safe about a potential president crying about the media the way Trump does?

More importantly he NEVER takes his detractors on through sound argument. He has no argument. He can’t even remember what is was his tormentors disagree with him on. It is enough in his mind to cry like a University of Missouri student about how unfair they all are.

And just who are these big meanies who have the nerve to disagree with him? In the case of an interview with FOX on Sunday, we are talking about Megyn Kelly, Charles Krauthammer, Steve Hayse, George Will and Chris Stirewalt. (During this tear jerking segment Trump qualified his complaint: “CNN s nicer to me” Well, no surprise there. They want him to win the nomination so they can tear into him in July. CNN and other liberal outlets are betting the farm Trump will lose to Hillary and are happy to help.) But…Hayes? Krauthammer? Will? He called these guy a disgrace. And what is their crime against humanity? They disagree with Trump. Or in their analysis they have shown why others are better candidates. The inhumane bastards!

As I said above, they have simply presented arguments that don’t align to Trumps chaotic view of reality. Their arguments are cogent and well-delivered. Trump isn’t capable of answering the arguments sensibly. So, he cries about how unfair they are.

He even called out David Brooks and said, “He treats me horribly.” Have you EVER in your life heard a more pathetic and childish characterization made by a politician? Well, by one running for a GOP nomination anyway? But David Effing Brooks? There has never been a more balanced, light-handed commentator to the left or the right. If he has issues with you, you need to reassess quickly.

And how do the Trump followers characterize disagreement or support for another candidate? Well, “hate” of course. If you disagree – with Trump, Pelosi, Reid, Obama, Sanders, Clinton or some less mature middle school girls – you are a hater.

And then there are remarks like this!

To say things like that in front of a crowd you just got stoked up, isn’t politically incorrect, it is criminally irresponsible. It is, in a word, imbecilic. And yet you have people like Eric Bolling, Sean Hannity, Andrea Tantaros and many other, FOX News all, utterly in the bag for the Donald and doing the same job you are doing on social media; translating Trump’s nonsense into fantasy answers and policy positions.

What would a presidential press conference be like if he were lucky enough to beat Clinton? Interrupting questioners as he does constantly? “Excuse me! Excuse me! I never said I’d get rid of Obamacare! I never said it!”

“But you did. Back in February…”

“Excuse me! Excuse me! I never said it. I said I like the mandate.” (In reality he said both three days apart in late February.) “You are being very unfair. VERY unfair. I could take you to court for lying about me. I have an approval rating…Excuse me! I have great approval rating. I have a higher approval rating, depending on where you look, than anyone in history.”

When you see a man is as immature, unfocused, egocentric and uninformed as Donald J. Trump, why would you want him anywhere near the White House?

We’ll leave his mob ties, shady deals and totally lop-sided support for liberal politicians out of the discussion. I think it is fair enough to say the average citizen is much smarter than Donald Trump and leave you wondering why you are actually wasting your intelligence on him.


I don’t ENTIRELY disagree with all these tweets. But it is disturbing how much he tweets and how silly many of them are.

The F**king Bridge Is Out!

…Humped by Trump

Matt Jordan is a travel writer, political commentator and author of 16 20 24. Get your SIGNED copy here!

Find 16 20 24 on Amazon.

Find 16 20 24 at Barnes & Noble

Find 16 20 24 at Books-a-Million